we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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