Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
When did angry sex become our thing?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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