the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
how does that bad decision feel?
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