I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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