I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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