i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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