Whats the glycemic index on semen?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
