no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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