Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
