He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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