So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
