Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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