This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize