Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
