never play flip cup with pint glasses
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
