Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
