Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
