I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
