you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
