There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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