Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I could fuck to npr.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
