So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
