Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
