he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
