i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize