They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This is my gift to your gina
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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