"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
