..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
