The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
