I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
