Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
