Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm bleeding and have questions
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize