oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
When are your genitals available?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
