oh god the rape fog is back!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize