By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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