Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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