So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
