called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
