I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
