his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
