oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
