"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
