How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
