Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Randomize
