The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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