I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
