hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
