how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Randomize
