i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
