margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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