The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
True strength comes from lack of pants
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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