So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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