I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
