i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
