Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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