help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
