Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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