I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
