ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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