Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
