I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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