we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
