On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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